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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536681">I Wish it Would Rain Down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66'>Daretodream66</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Trigger Words, Castles, Fluff and Angst, Ghosts, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Marriage, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Past Brainwashing, Protective Steve Rogers, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Soulmates, Soul Bond, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, True Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:27:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,815</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>During the war Steve and Bucky are given a gift then Bucky goes off the side of the train.  After Steve wakes up from the ice, he's given another gift.  There are ghosts and a castle and a soul bond.</p>
<p>I posted this before and a friend  found some errors.  I tried to edit, but it wouldn't let me, so I had to take it down to fix it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Wish it Would Rain Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The problem is, and it’s sad, but true, Bucky never thought he’d see Steve again. He took his draft notice and orders, boarded the ship and knew, without a doubt, that he wouldn’t ever come home.</p>
<p>That’s a fact of war.</p>
<p>He knew in his bones that even if he did come home from the war, broken and lost, that Steve wouldn’t be there. See, Steve’s body’s been trying to kill him since he was born and without Bucky, fussing over him, Steve wouldn’t take care of himself like he needed to.  So, either way, Bucky would never see the man again and if, by some miracle, he did live through the war, life wouldn’t be worth living without Steve.</p>
<p>He accepted when Steve turned 12 and looked up at Bucky with those blue eyes, full of wonder at the gift that Bucky saved pennies and nickels for, that he loved the boy with everything that he was and would become. As the years moved on, they grew together and Bucky’s feelings never changed, but grew with him.  He confided in Becca once, and only once, because she told him to never say it out loud again.  That if anyone heard him, he could end up dead, but she hugged him close and told him that she loved him no matter what.</p>
<p>But today, he follows Captain America on another mission. He’s pulling up the rear because it’s easier than walking beside his friend up front.  This way, he can lose himself in his thoughts and not have Steve question him about how quiet he’s become.  He lets Steve believe that he’s still recovering from that factory and that’s true enough, but really, Bucky is using all of his training and years of suppression to avoid saying what’s always on the tip of his tongue now.  ‘I love you and will beyond the grave.  I will hold you in my heart and soul until there’s nothing left of me.’ </p>
<p><em>Those</em> words that he can’t say.</p>
<p>The castle, with its moss and ivy covered outer walls, stands before them as they make it over the hill. They were warned in the village on the way here that something about the place was wrong…just off.  No one would really come out and say it, but most of the Commandos got the impression that the place is believed to be haunted.  Old beliefs die hard in a place like Ireland with its deep history. </p>
<p>A small Hydra contingency is using the castle while waiting for extraction and the Commandos are to go in and relieve them of their intel. Bucky takes a spot on a hill, amongst the trees while the rest of the team goes in.  His job is to take out anyone that tries to escape.  The grounds of the castle are overgrown and give just the right cover.  Laying in the tall grass, Bucky feels a chill, but decides that it’s just nerves.</p>
<p>He can’t shake the feeling that he’s being watch though and keeps turning this way and that, just to check the surroundings. His sightline is such that if there was someone watching, he’d be able to spot them immediately.  Plus, he’s just damn good at his job.  But that feeling of eyes on him won’t let go.</p>
<p>Two have come out and two have dropped in their tracks from Bucky’s bullets. That strange feeling of someone watching him persists, but when he turns nothing is there.  Out of the corner of his eye, he’s sure that something is there, but again, when he turns, it’s nothing.  A third Hydra soldier comes out and Bucky drops him and that presence is back.  “Fuck!  What the hell is that?”  It’s just mumbled so as not to give away his position.</p>
<p>A fourth soldier comes running from the house, screaming about ghosts and Steve follows him out, throwing his shield. The man drops and Peggy comes out after Steve as the shield comes back to his hands like it was always meant to be there.  Steve turns to her and smiles as she reaches up and wipes dirt from his face.  Tears gather in Bucky’s eyes and he sits up and turns away with his elbows on his knees.  “It’s getting too much.  I should have gone home.” </p>
<p>A breeze caresses across his face and Bucky would swear that, as crazy as it seems, that it’s maternal. Wind can’t be maternal.  Can it?  That presence that he’s felt all day is strong beside him and he looks back at the dead soldier and wonders if the man was crazy or truly spooked.  “Is there someone there?”</p>
<p>The voice he hears is like a transmission cutting in and out, but never completely disappearing. He’s startled at first, but the words calm him.  “Loving is never a sin.  Enter and be welcome.”  Coming down off the hill, he heads to the house.</p>
<p>As he makes it up the steps, Peggy is still standing there, but Steve has disappeared back inside. “Sergeant, Captain Rogers is looking for you.”</p>
<p>“Yes ma’am.” He gives a nod and starts past her into the castle.</p>
<p>“You don’t like me very much, do you?” He stops and turns back to her.  She’s giving him a quizzical look.</p>
<p>“I don’t know you, ma’am. Like or dislike doesn’t apply.”  He doesn’t wait to hear a reply or see the look she gives him.  Going deeper into the foyer, Gabe looks up and grins.</p>
<p>“We found everything Colonel Phillips was hoping for.” Bucky pats him on the shoulder.  “Oh, Cap went upstairs and asked that you join him.  He’s found something he thinks is interesting.”  Gabe gives a shrug.</p>
<p>Bucky nods and heads up. He finds Steve in what appears to be a sitting room.  For as old as it appears to be, the castle is still in pretty good shape, a hole in the ceiling here and there, but mostly intact.  He feels that brush of air again and spins around to find nothing.  Steve looks over from a painting on the wall.  “Interesting place, huh?”  Bucky nods and stands his ground.  “Come look at this, will ya?”</p>
<p>As much as Bucky tries to keep his distance, he’s never been able to refuse Steve anything he asks for. “What did ya find?”  Steve goes back to looking at the painting.</p>
<p>Two women smile at one another, dressed in attire that looks like pre-Victorian era. One with blond curls cascading down her back and the other with brunette hair pinned elaborately up on her head.  As they smile, looking into the other’s face, their hands are clasped.  “There’s something intimate about it, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>The women’s features are delicate, what you’d expect from people that live in a castle, but Steve’s right, it does seem intimate, in a decidedly un-sisterly way. Bucky reaches out, just to graze the brunette’s face at the same time that Steve does the same to the blond.  As soon as their hands touch the dried paint an electric shock travels through both of them and into the air around them.  As it crackles like lightening in the ozone, the same voice that Bucky heard before, fades in and out.  “What has been joined, let no man put asunder.”</p>
<p>The electrical charge wavers then disappears. Bucky looks over at Steve and everything is clear.  It’s like seeing Steve with new eyes, eyes that loved him before, but adore him now.  As surprising as it should be, Steve it looking back at Bucky the same way, but for some reason, it isn’t surprising at all.  Steve drops the shield at their feet, cupping Bucky’s face.  “Bucky…”  The word evaporates as their lips connect and Bucky falls into everything that is Steve.  Love isn’t supposed to feel this way, it isn’t supposed to be so consuming that it’s all there is, all that makes sense.  This is a feeling deep into the very core of the two men.</p>
<p>The team, having gone in search of their commanding officer and his trusted second, stand in the doorway of the room and watch as Steve draws Bucky into his arms. They saw the crackling, they saw it connect the two men, and they saw the following embrace.  “Uh…what’s happening?”  The look of utter and complete adoration on the men’s faces isn’t really a surprise, but it’s how open it is for anyone to see. The men in the unit knew, of course they did, because no ‘best friend’ breaks behind enemy lines and fights an entire factory of Hydra for just a friend.</p>
<p>A breeze blows by them out of the room and down the hallway. The Commandos step back as a woman appears in the hall at the top of the stairs.  Denier crosses himself, Monty shrieks, and the rest of them rub their eyes to make sure they aren’t hallucinating.  Dum Dum repeats his earlier questions.  “What’s happening?”</p>
<p>The woman smiles and opens her arms to them. “You have come into my home and relieved it of those horrible men.  For this, I have given your comrades a gift.”  She looks down the stairs where the blond woman from the painting makes her way to the side of the brunette.  “I lived in this place many, many years ago with my love and she and I have gifted your commanders with the same bond.  Call it marriage or call it soul mates, they are as one.”</p>
<p>The blond woman takes her hand and looks at the very confused Howling Commandos. “You are good people, all of you, but your friends were connected long before they came to you.” </p>
<p>Morita nods at their words. “They’ve known each other all their lives.”</p>
<p>“And have loved each other just as long.” They indicated the room and the team turns to see Steve and Bucky swaying, like they’re dancing, but it’s to music only they can hear.  “From this day forward, they will be bound to each other.”  The two women turn to leave.  “Stay and be welcome here for as long as you need shelter.”  And they’re gone as if they were never there.</p>
<p>“Did anyone else see that? I mean, I’m not going crazy am I?”  Dum Dum looks over at Peggy, who is again watching the two men.  The way they look at each other is unmistakable and she wonders why she never saw it before.  Of course they belong together, it’s so plain to see.</p>
<p>“We all saw that.” Gabe looks over at Morita, who seems to be searching the floor and stairs for something.  “Jim, what did you lose?”</p>
<p>Morita looks up, brow furrowed and lips pinched. “I’m looking for all the little birds and squirrels that are going to start singing and dancing because that’s some fairy tale shit happening in there.”</p>
<p>The Commandos looks back at the two men, Steve’s hands caressing each of Bucky’s cheeks and Bucky talking quietly to Steve. Leaning in, Steve rests his forehead against Bucky’s and whispers.  “I have loved you always.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part II</p>
<p>Steven Grant Rogers is a mystery to those that meet him. He’s a soldier, that they all know, but behind that persona that he wears to do a job, are the eyes of a man that has nothing left to live for.  When asked, whether by team mates or therapists or even Director Fury, he says nothing. </p>
<p>In early spring of 2013, he disappears for close to two months. Having asked for leave and it being granted, he tells no one where he’s going.  Stark and Romanov both try to find him, but nothing they do unveils his whereabouts.  Romanov goes to Fury demanding that he tell her where her team mate has gone, but Fury tells her that even he doesn’t know.  He knows that Rogers boarded a plane and where that plane was headed, but when it arrives, Rogers wasn’t on it and he has no clue how that happened.  He also has no idea how Rogers got so good at spy tactics, but plans to ask him when he returns.  It doesn’t stop Stark or Romanov from looking for him.</p>
<p>Steve spends the first few days searching for the castle and when he finds it he uses some of his back pay to purchase it under the name Steven Barnes. The property manager tries to talk him out of it because, as she stated, it’s haunted.  Steve just looks up at the ivy covered walls with a sad smile.  “I know.”  He makes sure that not just his name is on the deed, but Bucky’s is as well.  Bucky may be gone, but he’ll always be part of Steve and this place.</p>
<p>After the purchase goes through, he hires people to come in and renovate the place. When he returns to the US, the renovations have been underway for weeks and it gives him a sense of relief to know that it’s being taken care of.  The painting that hung on the wall is shipped back with him so he can find someone to restore it for the two women. </p>
<p>Just days after the renovation team is hired, Steve stands before the painting and asks permission to take it from the castle. According to the foreman, they tried to take it from the wall, but it wouldn’t budge.  Unsurprising, when he told the silent air in the house that he wanted to restore the painting, it came off the wall with ease.  Holding it close to his chest, he let the tears slide down his cheeks.  “Thank you.  I promise to bring it back and put it where it belongs.”</p>
<p>Stark tries to get Steve to tell him where he went, but Steve doesn’t answer. Romanov tries to trick him into telling her, but he walks away.  Fury demands to know Steve’s whereabouts, Steve just gives a sad smile and tells the director that he doesn’t owe him anything, not even an explanation.  Fury’s never been caught so off guard by anyone before.  Steve Rogers is not at all what he thought.</p>
<p>It takes three months to restore the painting and Steve disappears again after that. Romanov boards a flight leaving directly after Steve’s and flies to Paris.  It becomes clear when she arrives that he isn’t in Paris at all.  His flight landed in London for him to switch planes, so she flies there instead.  She tracks him all the way to Ireland, but no one she talks to has met or seen a Steven Rogers, but she gets the impression that a few of them are hiding something. </p>
<p>Steve’s very happy with the headway that the team has made on the renovations. They were instructed to leave the ivy on the outer walls, but everything inside has been cleaned and the roof, plumbing, and wiring has been completed.  He takes the painting up to the sitting room and hangs it on the wall.  There’s a brush of wind from either side of him.  “I hope they did it justice.”</p>
<p>The distinct feeling of a presence in the room doesn’t startle him. “It has been a long time, Steven.”</p>
<p>Steve turns and finds Abigail and Cordelia standing by the door as if they don’t want to scare him. “Yes, too long.”</p>
<p>“So, you have purchased my ancestral land and plan to make it your home.” They seem as solid as he is, but he knows better.  “Tell me, why have you come back, why have you not aged, and where is your husband?”  Cordelia cuts her eyes to her wife.</p>
<p>Steve gives a mirthless chuckle and quietly tells them about life after the Commandos left the castle. “I don’t know why I came back here, but I needed to and I bought this place so that nothing would happen to it.  I don’t have to live here, but I’d like to if you don’t mind sharing.”</p>
<p>They may be ghosts, but they both know he’s holding something back. Cordelia comes over, looking deep into Steve’s eyes.  “You had hoped he would be here.”</p>
<p>Steve nods and starts to cry. Abigail comes to him as well and even though they can’t embrace him, they stand near enough that he can feel their presence.  Cordelia looks at her wife and nods and Abigail acquiesces.  “You must tell him.” </p>
<p>Steve looks up with the imploring face of a man lost. “He was here for a very brief time.”  Steve starts firing questions, but she raises her hand to stop his words.  “Time does not work the same for us as it does for you, but I would say it was a few years after you and your team came here during the war and as I said, he was only here very briefly.”</p>
<p>“What can you tell me? Anything is better than not knowing.  Did he move on?  Is he at peace?”  He reaches out trying to take her hand, but it passes through her.</p>
<p>“He…” She looks at Cordelia.</p>
<p>“You have to tell him.” Abigail nods, but doesn’t look happy about it.</p>
<p>“He is not <em>dead</em>, Steven.”  Steve’s eyes shoot up to hers in disbelief.  “He died for a brief few minutes and came here, but he went back to his body.  It was as though something was pulling him back, forcing him to return to his body.”  She sighs.  “Steven, if he died again, he would have at least passed through this place, he has not, so he cannot be dead.”</p>
<p>They talk for most of the night and then Steve sleeps. The next day, the crew comes back and he vacates the house so they can work.  The foreman tells him that it will take at least another six months to get the castle ready to be lived in.  Steve agrees to come back in three months to make choices about the interior design.  He’s sure that Abigail and Cordelia have ideas about that, so he makes arrangements with several companies to meet them in three months.  The foreman pats him on the back and tells him, “What yer doin here, it’s a good thin.”  Steve smiles warmly at that.</p>
<p>He travels by car back to London and then flies home. He knows that Romanov is trying to figure out where he’s going, but it’s none of her business and he doesn’t plan on ever telling her.  How do you explain to people that will never understand the gift that he was given decades ago with a man that he will never stop loving?  How does he explain that ghosts have become family to him?  How does he explain that the man that he loves, will always love, is alive out there somewhere?  No, she definitely would never understand.</p>
<p>He returns and starts requesting files from the old SHIELD archives. Some he’s given without delay, but he knows that he’s requested something someone doesn’t want him to see when Fury shows up at his apartment.  “Cap, you seem to be on a mission that I know nothing about.”</p>
<p>Steve doesn’t invite the man in, but sees his neighbor watching them. She’s a nice enough girl, but Steve doesn’t pay her much mind.  What’s interesting is what he sees on her face, like she recognizes a situation that’s uncomfortable for everyone involved.  “I wasn’t aware that you needed to know every single one of my moves, Director.  I thought America was still free.”</p>
<p>Fury steps forward, but Steve doesn’t give up an inch to his advancement. “Maybe I should come in and explain how protocol works.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you should step back and remember that I don’t have to work for you.” That seems to be a bit of a shock to Fury and the neighbor that’s still watching, but trying to be covert.  That’s when Steve knows.  “And maybe you could take your agent there and stop watching me.  Is my apartment bugged too?  Are their cameras?”</p>
<p>Fury doesn’t speak for a few seconds and Steve knows that he’s right. She is an agent and he is bugged.  “Listen Cap, we just weren’t sure you were adjusting well and…”</p>
<p>“So you thought being a peeping Tom in my life was the way to go? Well, nice to know that SHIELD is just as bad as Hydra.”  The agent drops her basket at that and storms over. </p>
<p>“How dare you!” Steve just shakes his head and heads back in his apartment to pack.</p>
<p>“Get the hell out of my life, both of you.” The door slams and the Director of SHIELD and the agent on duty have no choice but to leave.</p>
<p>Fury looks at Agent 13. “If he leaves, I want to know everywhere that he goes.”  She nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve leaves the ugly apartment that SHIELD set him up in. He leaves with the pack that his shield fits in and stuffs it with a few things that he doesn’t want to leave behind.  He has no choice, so he goes to New York and the Tower.  Tony knows the second he arrives and meets him at the lift of the common floor.  “Well, well, well, Captain America himself has graced me with his presence.”</p>
<p>Steve doesn’t hang his head or slump his shoulders, he stands tall and looks directly at Stark. “I know you don’t like me, Stark, but for the life of me I don’t know why.  SHIELD had my apartment in DC bugged and an agent living next door.  They know I’m here because I’m nothing more than an asset to them, so I need a place to stay that they can’t get to me and can’t see what I’m doing.  If this isn’t the place, say so now and I’ll find somewhere else.”  Tony seems truly taken aback by Steve’s rant.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, you can stay here. They can’t hack JARVIS and they can’t get to you.  What is it you’re doing that has them on edge?”  Steve drops his pack and goes to sit in a chair by the window.</p>
<p>“I’m trying to find information on the death of James Barnes.” Steve just stares out at the city and misses his castle and believes the only friends he has are ghosts that gave him Bucky in the way he’d always wanted.  He doesn’t know how his life became this.</p>
<p>“JARVIS, find everything you can on the death of James Barnes.”</p>
<p>‘Of course, sir. Are they parameters for the search?’</p>
<p>Steve jumps in before Tony can. “I want to know if there’s a possibility that he’s still alive.”</p>
<p>Tony’s eyes get huge and he looks over at the super soldier. “How can he still be alive?  And why is he so important to you?  I mean I get the whole best friends since childhood, blah, blah, blah…”</p>
<p>He doesn’t really think that Cap will tell him the truth, but unknown to Stark, the blond has absolutely nothing to lose at this point. “He’s my husband and two ghosts told me that he’s not dead.”</p>
<p>Tony Stark falls onto the sofa and drops his glass. It bounces on the carpet, spilling the contents. However, based on the look on his face, Steve thinks he may have just broken the billionaire.  “Uh…did you…are you…jesus…”</p>
<p>“So, can we skip all the hate talk and just move to the helping part of this conversation?” Tony’s still staring at Steve like he’s never seen him before.</p>
<p>“Yeah…yeah, we can do that.” He stands picking up his glass and going to refill it.  “JARVIS, dig into anything and everything you can and find me that information.”</p>
<p>‘Yes sir.’</p>
<p>“Okay, start at the beginning and tell me what the hell is going on.” Steve starts from the time that he and Bucky were kids, how he knew when they were little that Bucky was it for him, about the castle in Ireland and the ghosts that live there, he tells him about what happened when they were there and then he takes a deep breath and tells Tony that he bought the place and has been renovating it.  “Wait, so this castle that you bought, it’s the same…”  Steve nods.  “And you’re trying to convince me that it has actual ghosts.  Like white, see through, floaty, boo type ghosts?”</p>
<p>Steve closes his eyes for a minute and huffs. “Abigail and Cordelia are not white, see through, floaty and have never said boo.”</p>
<p>“Abigail and Cordelia…are…the ghosts…they have names…you’re on a first name basis with…Abigail and Cordelia…who live in the castle you bought…” Tony gets up and starts laughing.  “You’re a weird one, Cap.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, tell me something I don’t already know, Stark.”</p>
<p>“And you’re gay and married, which doesn’t make sense because it wasn’t allowed back then.” Steve just shakes his head.  That day, all those years ago, he and Bucky became something more than married, but there’s not a way to make Stark understand that.</p>
<p>“Listen, tell whoever you want about my sexual preferences. I couldn’t give a good goddamn who knows, but if my husband is out there somewhere, alive, then I’m going to find him and bring him home!”  Tony puts up his hands to placate the super soldier and Steve takes a deep breath.</p>
<p>“Listen, I don’t care that you’re gay and have a husband, but boy you are not at all what we were taught about in school.” He sits again and looks over at Steve.  “You got your information from ghosts or hallucinations.”  Steve glares at him and Tony cowers just a little.  “You’re talking about dead people, Rogers!  What the hell am I supposed to think?”</p>
<p>‘Sir, Director Fury would like to speak with you. He’s being insistent.’</p>
<p>“Tell Director Fury I’ll have to call him back. I’m going to be helping Cap here get settled in.”  They get up and head for the lift.  “Oh and JARVIS, if he tries to hack you, feel free to electrocute him.”</p>
<p>‘Of course, sir. It would be my pleasure.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha storms the Tower on a mission from Fury. As far as missions go, this one is easy because Rogers is a man out of time and about as backward as they come.  His ability to slip her tail was probably a simple misstep on his part and not really as covert as it seemed.  Fury called her in, explaining that Cap was out of control and needed to be brought to heal, so she’s the dog trainer they chose.  Getting Cap under control won’t be that difficult once she figures out his weakness.  And the best way to do that is to be his friend.  It’s not the first time she’s pulled this con, but it will be the easiest.</p>
<p>She doesn’t expect to find Cap in the common room arguing the aesthetic of using creamy beige with deep greens and blue. “Steven!  You’ve decided on green and blue with beige for the sitting room and I don’t have an issue with that, but you can’t use that same color scheme in the master bedroom!  Change it up, maybe blues with a steel grey.”</p>
<p>Steve freezes in front of Tony, hands on his hips. “When did you learn anything about interior design?”</p>
<p>“I haven’t always had Pepper, you know!” Natasha clears her throat and both men turn, blushing at the discussion she walked into.  Tony points at Steve.  “This isn’t over.”  He looks back at Natasha.  “Well, you’re who Fury chose to come and befriend Steve, so you can get information.  Interesting choice, since you don’t really know how to do the friend thing.”  Tony flops into a chair, grinning.</p>
<p>Steve turns away, smirking, but Natasha doesn’t miss it. They knew someone would be coming.  “How long did it take you to figure out, Stark?”</p>
<p>Tony barks a laugh, pointing over at Steve. “It wasn’t me.  Steve even pinpointed that it would be you.  He’s the tactical brains behind this operation.  I’m just the money.”</p>
<p>Natasha turns on Steve who’s still smirking and she has the desire to smack it off of his face. “Why don’t you just give me something I can take back to Fury and we can call it a day?”</p>
<p>“Why should I?” Steve narrows his eyes, evaluating her.  “Why should I crack myself open for you when you wouldn’t tell me an honest truth about yourself if I held a gun to your head?” </p>
<p>She storms over to him. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know, Rogers.”</p>
<p>Steve barks a laugh. “No, you’d tell me something that would seem personal, but has no basis in reality.”</p>
<p>JARVIS chooses that moment to interrupt. ‘Sirs, I believe you need to report to the lab.’  Those are the code words for JARVIS finding something about Bucky.  The two men exchange a look and are off before Romanov can figure out what’s happening.</p>
<p>“JARVIS, what was that all about?” She knows she’s being left out of whatever this is and the AI usually tells her everything since she’s part of the team.</p>
<p>‘Agent Romanov, I do apologize, but per sir’s instructions, I must ask you to butt out.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they make it to the lab, they find out that the information is classified by more agencies across the world than Steve knew existed. Since Tony’s lab is the most secure place in the building, JARVIS is able to seal it off from all other areas.</p>
<p>When they read through the first page of what JARVIS found, Tony looks up and for once in his life, looks nervous. “Cap, if anyone finds out what we asked JARVIS to do, we’ll probably be court marshaled.  Can I be court marshaled if I’m not military?  Okay, then court marshal for you and treason for me.  Anyway, we got something and it’s big, like huge big.”</p>
<p>“I have a castle in Ireland protected by ghosts, so I’m not worried.”</p>
<p>“Easy for you, not so much for me.” He pulls Steve over to a holo-projection above a work bench.  “So, you were right.  He’s still alive, but…Cap…listen, if what we’re seeing here is right, it’s not good.”  Steve’s brow furrows, his lips pinch into a thin line and he nods.  JARVIS tells them what he found and how he found it.  And it’s possible that they’ll just be shot, by multiple governments, if they’re found out.  “What do you want to do, Cap?”</p>
<p>“I’m going after him.” Steve’s bringing his husband home even if it means dying in the process.</p>
<p>“Not alone you’re not.” Tony leans casually against the work bench.</p>
<p>“Tony, I can’t ask…”</p>
<p>“You didn’t ask, I told you. You aren’t doing this alone.”  Tony may come across as unfeeling, but he’s not going to give up the opportunity to raid a Hydra base and bring home a hero from World War II.</p>
<p>“When we have him, I’m taking him to the castle.” Tony just nods and Steve doesn’t take his eyes off the projection scanning for any and all information they will need.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Part III</p>
<p>It takes five months to find any leads on where Bucky might be held. They know he’s alive, but narrowing down where he’s being held is another problem all together.  It seems that he’s moved quite often, so Steve just decides to find all the bases where he was and destroy them.  Fury tries to stop him, but Tony stands between the two men and runs interference.  Not that Steve needs it, but it does build a bond of trust between the super soldier and the billionaire.</p>
<p>Steve returns to the castle just before it’s finished and walks the grounds and home in awe of what the renovation team did. By next week, everything will be in place.  Abigail and Cordelia love what he’s chosen and the night before he leaves, in the sitting room, they question him about his journey.</p>
<p>“Will you bring him here?” Steve sketches by the fire, not looking up, but knowing they’re with him.</p>
<p>“Yes, when we find him.” He pauses in his drawing.  “According to the files that Tony found, it’s likely that he won’t remember me.”  He looks down at the drawing of the last morning he and Bucky were together.  His husband looks up from the sleeping bag they shared with a lazy smile.  Tears gather in Steve’s eyes and drop down onto the page.</p>
<p>“What will you do if he doesn’t remember you?” Abigail stands by the fire, looking into the flames and Cordelia stands at the painting.  “I do not know what I would do if my wife no longer remember me.”  Cordelia looks over at Abigail sadly.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Silence falls over the room and Steve goes back to his sketch.</p>
<p>Tony shows up the next morning and finds Steve out front waiting. Getting out of the sports car he rented, Tony whistles at the castle.  “Damn Cap, this place is something.”  Tony freezes when he looks up and sees two women standing in the window overlooking the new driveway.  Ripping his sunglasses from his face, he stares disbelieving.  “Do you have staff?”</p>
<p>Steve looks up, seeing his friends and smiles. “No, that’s Abigail and Cordelia.”  He looks back at Tony.  “The ghosts that live here.”  Steve grabs his arm and pulls him towards the front door.  “You may as well come meet them.”</p>
<p>They’re standing at the top of the stairs as the two men come through the door. Tony stares up at them, mouth hanging open.  Abigail, always the more vocal of the two, descends the staircase with a wicked smile.  “So you are the friend that thinks we say boo.”  Steve barks a laugh and watches Tony’s mouth open and close.  She gets within feet of the billionaire, smirking.  “Boo!”</p>
<p>Tony jumps and steps behind Steve, who hasn’t stopped laughing. “You two are going to get along fine.”  Tony reaches out trying to touch her, but his hand passes through without impediment. </p>
<p>“Holy shit! You’re a ghost!”  His hand slaps over his mouth and both women giggle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha Romanov doesn’t like being in the dark and there’s one thing that she can always count on and that is that Tony Stark can’t go anywhere without someone recognizing him and Tony eating up the attention. Within minutes of Tony landing at Kilkenny Airport a picture is taken of him.  Natasha is off to Ireland before all of the photos are loaded on her phone.  Once she lands, she gets the agent at the car rental place to give her the GPS coordinates of Tony’s rental.  Getting her own vehicle, she’s on the road and determined to find out what this is all about.</p>
<p>They have a day’s head start, but when she reaches the property, she parks on the road and hikes in. She’s not expecting to find a castle or Captain America putting a duffel into the trunk of the car that she knows Tony rented.  She’s also not expecting Tony to come out the front door, laughing.  “Cap, those two are better than cute cat videos for entertainment.”</p>
<p>Steve smiles at a man that’s, somehow, become his friend. “I’m kinda fond of them too.”  Steve goes back up the steps into the castle, he comes out a few minutes later carrying a small suitcase.</p>
<p>“You didn’t have to carry my luggage, Cap.” Steve throws his head back and laughs causing a pang of…something to be set off in Natasha’s chest.  She’s never seen Captain America that free with his emotions.  They get in the car and head out, so she makes her way back through the trees and to her car.  Having the GPS code, she won’t lose them this time.</p>
<p>What she doesn’t expect is Tony to have a Quinjet waiting at the airport. While the two men are settling everything inside the jet, she affixes a tracker in the wheel well.  She contacts Fury to let him know and not long after Tony and Cap take off, another jet lands, having been diverted from London.  The agents turn the jet over to Black Widow and Natasha follows.  They’ve gone into stealth mode, but the new trackers that Tony created still transmits.  She smirks to herself that she can use Tony’s tech against him.</p>
<p>Her skin crawls when she realizes where they’re going. She knows that they don’t have permission to enter Russian airspace, so when their signal stops just south of the Stanovoy Range she grips the controls tighter.  They have no reason to be going to that base and the likelihood that they are walking into something bigger than they expect is high.  Before she lands Natasha checks for heat signatures.  Two are making their way towards the mountains.  Setting her own jet down, she gears up and heads after the two idiots that are going to get themselves killed.</p>
<p>By the time she reaches the base, no alarms have been set off and Natasha finds the guards out cold on the ground. She’d heard rumors in her years with the Red Room that this place existed, a place where they kept a weapon so dangerous that it had to be kept on ice.  If Cap and Tony are here, it’s probably to destroy that weapon, if they don’t get themselves captured first.  What the Russians wouldn’t give to have Captain America and Iron Man in custody.  Growling she enters the door left open in the side of the mountain.</p>
<p>Iron Man and Cap aren’t known for their ability to stay in the shadows, but they must have picked up a few tricks, because Natasha keeps coming across guards knocked out. The base isn’t at full capacity and she’s thankful for that, so the skeleton crew on duty seems to be dropping one by one.  When she makes it to the control room, she sees the commander, six guards, and three doctors.  The commander is thumbing through a red journal and barking at the doctors.</p>
<p>That’s when she sees Cap and Stark, on an upper level. They can see down into the control room and Cap is pointing at the commander.  If her suspicion is accurate, they’ve probably taken out the rest of the guards and all that’s left is the few in this room.  In the center of the room is a chair.  It’s an ominous looking thing with a head piece that makes Natasha start to sweat.  The rumors she heard are true then and this weapon is a person.</p>
<p>Cap points at the guards and gives a nod to Tony. Iron Man’s thrusters cause the guards to look up, but all six are down before they can even fire a shot.  The commander finds himself facing off against Captain America with a sneer on his face.  He presses a button to call the other guards and when nothing happens he looks up in fear.  “You have killed my men.”</p>
<p>“No, but it can be arranged.” There’s something in his voice that isn’t Captain America, it’s all Steve Rogers.  “Now, I’m going to take what’s mine and go.”</p>
<p>They must have missed a few because Natasha sees guards coming from behind Cap and Tony is busy with the doctors, so she pulls her gun, one that she doesn’t carry often. The gun fire makes Cap jerk and turn, giving the commander the opportunity to run, but throwing the shield, the commander goes down, knocked unconscious.  Going to him, Cap picks up the journal, and glares at Natasha. </p>
<p>She’s striding over while Tony figures out the controls. “What the hell do you think you’re doing invading a Russian base?”</p>
<p>“Getting something that belongs to me.” It comes out through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>“What could be so important that you’re willing to start a war?” Cap doesn’t answer and turns to Tony.  “How did you even find this place?”</p>
<p>“How we found it is no one’s business.” Steve goes over to where Tony is working.  “Do you know where he is?”</p>
<p>“He? He who?”  Both men ignore her.</p>
<p>“I found him, but we’re going to have to do this carefully, Steve.” The floor by the back wall opens as Tony presses several buttons and a cryo-chamber comes out of the floor.</p>
<p>Natasha raises her gun and in seething Russian, says, <em>“He must die.”</em></p>
<p>The shield seemingly comes out of nowhere and hits her right hand, knocking the gun away. Grasping her wrist, Natasha glares at the man in red, white, and blue.  Tony cocks an eyebrow at her in challenge.  Cap makes his way to her, finger in her face.  “You try something like that again and you won’t be leaving this base.”</p>
<p>“Do you even know who that is?” Taking a deep breath, Cap sets his body in a decidedly angry pose.  “That’s the Winter Soldier.  He credited with dozens of kills over the last 50 years.  He’s nothing but a mindless weapon.”</p>
<p>Tony sees Steve Rogers, really sees him for the first time. This isn’t a soldier, this man is broken in ways that Tony can relate to.  “That is James Buchannan Barnes!  He’s my husband!”</p>
<p>Natasha isn’t surprised by many things, but that does it. “How did you even find this place and how did you find out about him?”</p>
<p>“From some friends.” He turns back to the tank.  “Can you unfreeze him, Tony?”</p>
<p>Natasha doesn’t let it go. “Friends?  What friends?”</p>
<p>Tony grins over at her. “Dead ones.” </p>
<p>She has no idea what that means, but if this is Cap’s best friend and husband, it changes her directive. “We’ll have to take him back to Fury for debrief and that could take months.”</p>
<p>Steve turns and the look is different from anything else she’s ever seen. For once, she sees a terrifying side of the man that Fury put in charge of the Avengers.  She sees a man desperate enough to kill.  “Understand this, Romanov, you try to take him to Fury and I will burn the world to the ground and you with it!”  And she believes him.  “Tony, start the wake sequence.”  Iron Man doesn’t even flinch, he just starts pressing more buttons.</p>
<p>It takes nearly an hour for the sequence to complete and the tank to open. Steve hands the journal to Tony and steps up into the tank.  Bucky, no, the Soldier’s eyes flutter open and take in the face in front of him.  The oxygen mask is still covering his mouth and nose.  Steve reaches up, cupping the Soldier’s cheeks.  The Soldier’s eyes flutter open again because no one has ever touched him with kindness.  Tony comes over and the Soldier’s eyes follow him.  “I’ve scanned the journal and I know what he’s expecting.  You aren’t going to like it.”</p>
<p>Steve never takes his eyes from Bucky. “Hey.”  Those crystal blue/grey eyes snap back to the blue ones full of tears.  “We aren’t going to hurt you and we aren’t going to put you in the chair.  You may not trust us, but we’re getting you out of here.  Will you trust me…just me…enough to come with us?”</p>
<p>The Soldier looks at Iron Man again, then at a red-headed woman that he doesn’t trust at all. Locking eyes with the blond man again, he nods.  Steve reaches up, releasing the mask then the wrist constraints and the Soldier falls into his arms.  They have no idea how long he’s been in cryo this time, so Steve drops the shield and heaves the man into his arms.  He’s bulkier than Steve remembers, but he’ll carry Bucky all the way back to Ireland if he has to.</p>
<p>Laying his head on the blond’s shoulder, the Soldier doesn’t know why he trusts him, but something at the very core of him does. Tony picks up the shield and turns to Natasha.  She can’t say what it is exactly, but the way that shield became unimportant in the face of the Soldier, sticks.  “Okay, let’s get out of here and get him home.”  Natasha looks over at Tony and something in the man’s face has changed, something that’s so far off from who she’s always believed Stark to be.  It’s unsettling, but all of this is.</p>
<p>Steve puts Bucky in a bunk on the Quinjet and starts to go to the pilot seat where Tony is flipping switches, but the Soldier’s hand shoots out and takes his wrist. “Don’t.”  It’s nothing but a whisper, but Steve sits on the edge of the bed and reaches up to push Bucky’s hair from the face that he’s missed every day since the day he went off the train.</p>
<p>“I won’t leave. I’m right here, Buck.”  The Soldier’s face twists at that, like he’s trying to pull something from his memory.  “That’s your name, James Buchannan Barnes, but I always called you Bucky.”</p>
<p>“Bucky.” He says the name and tests it.</p>
<p>Tony gets the jet in the air and sets the stealth and coordinates. Once done, he goes to talk to Steve.  “Cap, it’s going to be a few hours to get home, but you have to deal with Widow.  She could be calling Fury as we speak and we need to be prepared for that once we get back to the castle.”</p>
<p>Steve doesn’t take his eyes from Bucky’s. “Let them come.  I’ll protect him with my life if I have to.  No one is going to take him away from me again.”  Tony goes back to the pilot seat without commenting.</p>
<p>Steve opens the medical port and pulls out an IV. The Soldier’s eyes get wide, so Steve comes back to him, placing a hand on his cheek.  “You’re dehydrated and I want to fix that.  The IV is just saline to help you feel better.  Will you let me help you?”</p>
<p>“Why?” The Soldier is trained to kill, he’s trained to read a situation in order to get himself out of it, but nothing that Hydra taught him makes any sense right now.  This blond man is talking about him like he’s a person and not a thing.</p>
<p>“Because I belong to you and you belong to me. Because nothing is more important to me than you are.  Because I’ve loved you my whole life and I can’t keep going if you aren’t with me.”  The Soldier’s face scrunches up in confusion and Steve smiles.  The Soldier thinks that this man smiling is a very nice thing.</p>
<p>“Who are you?” Steve sighs, but doesn’t look any less determined and something about that feels familiar to the Soldier.</p>
<p>“I’m Steve, Steve Rogers-Barnes. I’m your husband.”  The Soldier looks at him surprised.  “They took you from me and made you into something you’d never be on your own.”</p>
<p>Tears gather in the Soldier’s eyes and he wants to scream that this isn’t right, but something about the blond makes him believe it. Somewhere deep inside, he knows this man, he recognizes those eyes.  “Where are you taking me?”</p>
<p>Steve inserts the IV and lays down on the bunk with him, pulling Bucky close and holding on. “Home, Buck.  We’re going home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony lands the jet in the field north of the castle. Natasha is already there.  Bucky tries to sit up to walk off the jet, but Steve sweeps him up into his arms.  “Are you going to let me walk?”</p>
<p>Steve grins and kisses the top of the Soldier’s head. “Nope, not unless it’s absolutely necessary and right now, it’s not.”  As they make their way to the castle, the Soldier looks up.</p>
<p>He feels a stir in his memories, this place is…familiar. “Where are we?”</p>
<p>“Ireland and this is our castle.” The Soldier’s head jerks up in disbelief.  “That’s right, you and I own a castle.  I should also warn you, Abigail and Cordelia are still here.”  There’s more confusion on the Soldier’s face at that.  “Don’t worry, you’ll meet them soon enough.”</p>
<p>They don’t show themselves immediately, giving everyone time to settle in. Steve takes Bucky to the master suite, sitting him on the end of the bed.  Bucky moves his flesh hand back and forth on the comforter on the bed.  “This is very soft.”  Steve kneels in front of him and starts undoing the straps and buckles on Bucky’s uniform.  The soldier’s hand comes out, stopping him.  “They don’t let me take this off.”</p>
<p>Steve gives a soft, gentle smile. “Well <em>they</em> don’t have a say in your life anymore.”  He goes back to what he was doing.  “And I thought you might like a bath.”  Bucky’s eyes light up, just the way they used to when there was hot water to be had.  “You like that idea.”</p>
<p>Reaching up, Bucky tentatively puts a hand on Steve’s face. The super soldier freezes and nuzzles into the hand.  “Are you really my husband?”</p>
<p>Opening his eyes, Steve looks deep into eyes that aren’t so blank anymore. “Yes, in every way important.”  Bucky soaks in the tub, never letting go of Steve’s hand, who’s sitting on the floor next to the tub.  When the water starts to cool, Steve adds more hot and just sits, talking to Bucky about buying the castle and all the changes his made to it.  After soaking for nearly an hour and Steve washing his hair for him, Bucky gets in the shower.  Going back into the bedroom, Steve pulls out the softest clothes he can find.</p>
<p>That’s when Abigail speaks, she doesn’t show herself. “You need to take him to the painting, Steven.”  Steve nods.  “The two of you need to touch the painting again.  So much of him has been lost.”</p>
<p>Bucky shuffles into the room and Steve takes the towels he’s carrying and helps him dry off. “Did you always treat me this way?”</p>
<p>Steve’s laughter bubbles out of him. He looks up from where he’s kneeling to dry Bucky’s legs.  “When I could, but before the serum, you took much better care of me and after, we were in a war.”  Bucky’s head tilts and his eyes narrow, like he’s trying to remember.  “Don’t force anything.  It will come back.”</p>
<p>“How can you be sure?” There’s something almost childlike in Bucky’s behavior and it twists Steve’s heart to think of how he got that way.</p>
<p>“Because I have faith in you and us. I have faith that you may not remember everything, but you’ll eventually remember me.”  Steve can almost hear the next question before it comes out of Bucky’s mouth.</p>
<p>“And if I don’t ever remember? You are familiar and this place is familiar, but what if I don’t remember?”  Steve gets him into thick fleece pajama pants, a hoodie, and fuzzy socks.  Bucky wiggles his toes and hums at the sensation.</p>
<p>“If you don’t ever remember then we can just be friends and keep each other company.” Steve doesn’t look up from where he’s putting the second sock on.  “I’d rather have you as my friend than not at all.”</p>
<p>“There was a handler, I don’t know how long ago, and he had blond hair and blue eyes. I found him…attractive.”  Steve looks up and tries to hide the hurt of that.  “I thought he was you.  I knew that today when I saw your face.”  Bucky blushes and turns away.  “I don’t think being just your friend would be enough.”</p>
<p>Steve grins and carefully touches Bucky’s face, turning him so they can lock eyes. “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a very long time.”  Standing, he pulls Bucky to his feet.  “There’s something I want you to see.”  He starts for the door and Bucky catches up, taking his hand and looking up to see if it’s okay.  Steve squeezes his hand, then raises it to his lips.  A simple gesture that he never thought he’d get to do again.  Bucky blushes again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tony wraps Natasha’s wrist as she squirms on the counter. “Well, if you wouldn’t try to attack Cap’s husband, you wouldn’t have a sprained wrist.  Sit still and take it like an adult!”</p>
<p>“How are you so easily buying all this Stark? You’re as jaded as I am.”  Tony stops what he’s doing and looks over at the doorway.  Natasha can’t see her, but Cordelia stands watching and listening.</p>
<p>“I think…no, I know that when you get a look at someone that is willing to go to the ends of the earth to bring home the person they love more than their own life, it changes you.” Tony doesn’t make eye contact with Natasha, but he sees the smile on Cordelia’s face.  “It’s hard to be so jaded after seeing that.”</p>
<p>“This whole thing makes no sense to me. How is that James Barnes?”  Tony looks back at her now and goes back to wrapping her wrist.</p>
<p>“He went off the train in ’44 and Cap was never the same after. There’s even a file from Colonel Phillips about it.  One that my father pulled from official records.”  Tony’s staring down at Natasha’s wrist and just talking absentmindedly.  “He got concerned on the last mission that Cap went on because he didn’t act like he cared whether he lived or died.  According to Peggy Carter, my Aunt Peggy, she didn’t think he was planning to come back.”  Looking up, he meets Natasha’s eyes, wide with this new knowledge.  Leaning on the counter next to the spy, Tony crosses his arms over his chest.  “When we’re little kids, maybe not you or me, but most little kids dream of finding someone that is, for lack of a better term, their soul mate.  In this case, it isn’t a fairy tale, it’s a fact.”  Walking out of the kitchen, Tony heads up the stairs, following Cordelia.  Natasha doesn’t see the ghost, but she follows Tony.</p>
<p>At the door to what appears to be a sitting room, Tony keeps to the shadows and motions for Nat to do the same. She watches as Cap pulls the assassin around the room and the way the assassin looks at things in wonder.  He’s got an innocence about him that she can’t figure out.  And when she looks at Cap’s face, she doesn’t see a tactical genius or a man out of time, she sees Steve with just as much wonder as the Soldier, but it’s all aimed at the man holding his hand.  “We came here in ’42 with the Howlies and something happened while we were here.”</p>
<p>“What happened?” Bucky pulls away and goes to the painting.  “I think I remember this.”</p>
<p>Steve comes to stand next to him. Like the last time, they stand facing the painting.  “What do you remember?”</p>
<p>Squinting at the painting, Steve reaches out, taking his hand again. “I remember wanting to touch.”</p>
<p>Steve reaches up, placing his finger on the blond woman in the painting, just like he did all those years ago. Bucky watches his finger and then reaches up too, touching the brunette woman.  The electrical charge is immediate and it surrounds the two men.  Natasha starts forward, but a breeze blows past her and into the room.  Tony reaches out, holding the red-head in place.  “Don’t.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, two women are standing in the room, watching the two men like they did the first time. “What has been brought together…again, let no one put asunder.”  The charge stops and Bucky looks over at Steve and smiles.  Not the shy smile from before, but the same smile from decades ago. </p>
<p>“Steve?” They’re in each other’s arms before the name leaves his lips.  “Stevie?  Oh god, I missed you.”</p>
<p>Steve’s hands run up and down Bucky’s back. “Buck…it worked…” He can’t keep talking because he starts to cry.  Great heaving sobs come from him and Bucky lets new tears flow down his face.</p>
<p>“Sssshhhh, my love, I’m here.” He turns to see Abigail and Cordelia watching.  “You brought me back.”</p>
<p>“What the hell is happening? And who are they and where did they come from?”  Tony tries to pull Natasha back, but she’s not having it.</p>
<p>Bucky backs away, pulling Steve with him. Abigail stands in front of the two men, protecting them.  “We are the ghosts that protect this place.  What was once known at Kilmurry Castle is now the Barnes Estate.”  Abigail gets close enough to Natasha that the red-head should be able to feel her body heat, but there is none.  Reaching out, her hand passes through the woman.  “You are the intruder here, all others are welcome.”</p>
<p>Tony looks a little smug at that. “See, they like me.”</p>
<p>“Maybe all of you could give us a few minutes.” Tony drags Natasha from the room and Steve draws Bucky to the sofa.  They sit and Bucky practically plants himself in Steve’s lap.  “Tell me what you remember.”</p>
<p>Bucky snuggles into Steve’s embrace. “I remember this place and what happened here the first time.  I remember…I remember loving you for so long and thinking that you loved her.  I remember thinking that I should have gone home, so that I didn’t have to watch you fall in love.  I remember being in this room with you the first time and knowing that you loved me like I loved you.”  He gives a small shrug.  “Not much beyond that.”</p>
<p>“That’s enough.” Steve kisses Bucky’s temple.  “As long as you know me and you know what we have is real.  Waking up in this new century has been a nightmare.  Waking up and knowing you were gone…Bucky I wanted to be gone with you, then I found out you were alive and…”  The sobs come back and they hold each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Natasha turns on the two women with fire and fury. “Explain!”</p>
<p>Cordelia moves around the sitting room downstairs, looking over at this woman that has so much anger. “When they came here, back in what you call the Second Great War, we could feel how much they loved each other, but they didn’t know the other felt the same.  We recognized, in them, what we felt so many decades before.  We just couldn’t let them live their lives without having what they deserved.”  Abigail looks at her wife, nodding for her to continue.  “They are both such kind souls, good men, deserving of love.  The painting is all that’s left of our physical life.  We use it to channel energy needed to be here.  So, we used it to channel energy to connect them.”</p>
<p>Tony hasn’t heard this story. “Wait, so when you say they’re bound together, you mean…”</p>
<p>“Yes, Tony, they are truly bound together. And to this place.  Stories about soul mates came from truth, but this new world, the one that you live in, it doesn’t allow for those childish ideas.  But they are soul mates.”  Cordelia goes to her wife looking up adoringly.</p>
<p>“They were before we interfered and they both knew it, but couldn’t admit it. All we did was take away the constraints and allowed them to acknowledge it.”  The two women disappear, leaving Tony and Natasha to stare into nothing.</p>
<p>“You found out where he was from dead friends.” Natasha’s words are quiet.</p>
<p>“No, we found out he was still alive through our dead friends, but we found out who Hydra made him and where he was being kept through…well let’s just say that if anyone finds out, I’ll probably be going to jail.” Tony heads out of the room and back up the stairs.  “Come on, Romanov.  I’ll show you where your room is.”</p>
<p>She catches him on the stairs. “Don’t you think we should check on Cap?  He could be in danger.”</p>
<p>Tony snorts and continues walking. “Yeah, in danger of walking funny tomorrow.  Get a grip, Little Spider, this isn’t something you’re equipped to handle and leave those two be.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve rises with the sun the following morning and Abigail guides him to the patch of blackberries by the river. He picks enough for everyone, but when he’s back in the kitchen, he pulls out the best looking ones for Bucky.  “I should go check on him.” </p>
<p>Abigail chuckles. “Cordelia is with him and he’s still sleeping.”</p>
<p>Steve nods and goes back to fixing breakfast. When it’s all together, he leaves enough for Tony and Natasha, then heads up the stairs to the master suite.  Sleeping in the same bed with Bucky again was everything that Steve had missed since waking.  As he slips in the door, Bucky is stretched out on Steve’s side of the bed, hugging his pillow.  They didn’t <em>reacquaint</em> themselves the night before because Steve wants Bucky to have more recovery time, but seeing him in the bed makes everything in Steve ignite.  He’s a lot more muscular now, his body hard planes and his hair cascades on the pillows and over his shoulders, but those lips are just the same and when his eyes open, they will be the same too.</p>
<p>Sitting the tray of food on the table by the window, Steve goes to the bed and climbs in, pulling Bucky into his arms. Sleep rumpled and groggy, Bucky looks up smiling.  “I know you.”</p>
<p>Steve chuckles and leans in to place a soft kiss on the other man’s lips. “Good.”  Bucky sniffs the air.  “I brought you breakfast.”</p>
<p>“Is there coffee?” Scooting out of the bed, Steve goes for the tray.  Bucky sits up against the headboard and smiles up sleepily.</p>
<p>“There is always coffee.” Steve insists on feeding him one of the berries and then it becomes a game when he puts a berry between his lips and makes Bucky take it.  “I love you so much.”  Their lips connect and it’s just the same as it always was.  The tray gets moved to the floor and the two men slide down into the covers and pillows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Days pass with the two walking the grounds of the castle and Tony, Natasha, Abigail and Cordelia watch from the windows. On one such walk, Bucky holds Steve’s hand against his chest.  “Steve, there’s something we need to talk about.”</p>
<p>The super soldier looks at his husband, smiling. “Anything.  You know we can talk about anything.”</p>
<p>Bucky seems uncomfortable and Steve wants more than anything to take that away. “There are words.”  Steve looks at him confused.  “Words that can trigger the Winter Soldier.  If we don’t do something about that, I could be taken again and used against you.”</p>
<p>Once back in the house, Steve gets the journal from the safe in the master suite, taking it to the sitting room, he sits with Bucky and the others and explains to them what Bucky told him. There are opinions and accusations from Tony and Natasha respectively, but it isn’t until Abigail speaks up that everyone freezes.  “We might be able to help with that.”</p>
<p>She explains that part of being a ghost is existing outside of the physical world, meaning they can get into places that others can’t. Tony fears for what that might do to Barnes and makes no secret that he’s not completely against the idea, but isn’t comfortable with it either.  Natasha doesn’t like anything that she can’t see and touch, but also doesn’t want Steve to be in a position that he has to take down his husband. </p>
<p>Bucky is willing to do anything to make sure he can’t be turned into that unfeeling thing again, so they make a plan. The following morning, after a night of laughter and stories, Bucky lays in their bed while Cordelia stands next to him.  Steve lays on the bed, propped up on his side, holding Bucky’s hand.  “You will feel cold, but I promise not to hurt you.”  Cordelia’s quiet demeanor is a comfort to Bucky and he smiles up at her.  Closing his eyes, she reaches out, letting her hand pass into his temple.  Time feels like it drags as she concentrates on what she’s doing and occasionally Bucky will squeeze Steve’s hand.</p>
<p>Once she’s done, she pulls back and disappears. Steve looks over at the window where Abigail is standing.  “She will need to rest, but she did find the walls in his mind.  Each one corresponds with one of the words.  She was able to get to one.”</p>
<p>Bucky looks over at Steve and gives a tired smile. “I’m gonna sleep for a little while.”  That afternoon, they have Natasha try the words since she’s the only one that speaks Russian.  Bucky becomes tense and seems to be in pain, but when she gets to the last word, freight train, his body relaxes and he looks up at Steve with a smile.</p>
<p>“They don’t work. Steve, they don’t work.”  There’s laughter and hugging.  Looking over at Cordelia, Bucky tears up.  “Thank you.”  What they find out is that with the removal of each word, more of what makes him Bucky returns too.  Once they realize what’s happening, Tony comments that it’s probably good they didn’t remove all of them at once.  Too much would have been unlocked at once and would have been overwhelming.</p>
<p>Natasha coaches Steve through the pronunciation of the words, so that he can work through the test after each word is removed. Going on the third week, four of the words have been removed and Bucky remembers more and more about his life before.  Sometimes he has nightmares because he also remembers things from being with Hydra.  Steve holds him through them and never lets go.</p>
<p>They come to a problem at the end of the third week when Natasha gets a call from Fury. The Avengers are needed and Steve refuses to leave.  “Steve, you have to.  If you don’t come back, Fury will come looking.  I haven’t told him anything about any of this, but he’ll get suspicious.” </p>
<p>It’s the first time that she’s admitted that she’s protected Steve from the Director. “Natasha, I can’t leave him.”  He stands at the window, looking out at his beautiful home.  Bucky is upstairs sleeping after the latest word was removed.  “Maybe you don’t understand and maybe you think it makes me weak, but he’s the most important thing.  If it’s a choice between him and this job, I’ll always pick him.”</p>
<p>The voice from the doorway is a surprise. “You need to go, Steve.  You can’t stay here babysitting me.”</p>
<p>Steve goes to Bucky, pulling him against his chest and kissing the side of his head. “It’s not babysitting you.  I don’t think I can do this job knowing that I have you.  Running into fights is the old me, it’s not this me.  This me needs you in ways that I’m not sure I even understood before.  We’ve fought our battles and we have this one more and then…then we can rest.”</p>
<p>Tony hasn’t said anything, just stands back listening. Finally, he gets up and goes to his friends.  “I never told anyone this, but after everything you’ve let me be a part of, I feel like I owe it to you.”  Clearing his throat, Tony seems agitated.  “Before all this Avengers stuff, Pepper asked me to stop being Iron Man because it scared her.  I didn’t and I almost lost her, really lost her.  We’ve worked through it now, but Cap…Steve, if you can’t leave for your own sanity, then don’t leave.  Momma Spider and I will figure out how to deal with Fury.”</p>
<p>That decision made, even over more protests from Natasha, they take the jets back to New York. Over the next two weeks, Steve keeps tabs on what’s happening with the Avengers, but his main focus is on Bucky.  The brunet watches for any sign that Steve regrets not going, but it never happens.  By the end of the second week of Tony and Natasha being gone, they are down to one word.  Once Cordelia has it removed, Steve tests the words again and this time, nothing happens, no discomfort, no shaking, just a brilliant smile from his husband.</p>
<p>Later that night when Steve is cleaning the kitchen and Bucky is soaking in the bath, Cordelia comes in looking shy. “Everything okay?”</p>
<p>She looks up, trying to smile, but it comes out as a grimace. Steve knows there’s something she needs to say.  “You have been so grateful that I hate to ruin that, but you must know.”  Steve stops washing the dishes and turns to face her.  “There is something else in your beloved’s mind.  Something I’m not sure he even knows is there.”</p>
<p>Going to the breakfast table, Steve sits heavily in a chair. “Tell me.”</p>
<p>She goes to stand on the other side of the table. “You see Steve, when I’m in his mind, I can see what he sees attached to the words.  As if when the wall comes down, releasing the control of the word, memories flood through me.”  Steve nods.  “There is another wall and when I…how should I put this…peek behind it, I can see a memory attached to it and it is not good.  There is another word in his head, but it does something far worse.”</p>
<p>Steve’s hands start to shake and he feels tears gathering in his eyes. “I need to know.”</p>
<p>“The ones that he calls handlers, if he was out of control, trying to get away, which was often, they used this word and it incapacitated him. He would lose control of his body and mind.  It was like he was a puppet and they cut the strings.”  Steve’s shaking gets more violent.</p>
<p>“What do we do?” Sighing, she goes to the window to look out at the night.</p>
<p>“We must get it out, but testing it afterwards, that’s what frightens me.” Nodding, Steve thanks her and goes upstairs to find out if Bucky knows about this.</p>
<p>“Of course I knew about it. I just hoped that…I don’t know…it would just go away.”  Bucky leans up, resting his elbows on his knees in the tub.  Steve strips down and crawls in behind him, pulling the man against his chest.</p>
<p>“We’re going to get this one out too. We’re going to get through all of this.”  They don’t talk again until they are in bed later.</p>
<p>“Give me the journal.” Steve starts to protest, but the look on Bucky’s face tells him it’s not a negotiation.  Getting the journal, Steve hands it over and Bucky starts going through it.  When he finds the pages he’s looking for, he turns it so Steve can see.  “Look here.  Do you see this word?”</p>
<p>“Yeah Buck, I see it.” Steve caresses up and down Bucky arm.</p>
<p>“If Cordelia can’t get the word out and someone accidently activates the kill switch, you’ll say this and it will bring me back.” For the next little while, Bucky has Steve practice the word over and over until he has it perfectly.  “Tomorrow, we do this.  We get this kill switch out of my head.”</p>
<p>The process takes longer the next morning. Bucky doesn’t eat breakfast because he’s so wound up and afraid he’ll get sick.  Cordelia looks nervous, but is willing to do whatever she can to help.  Abigail looks stricken that the monsters that had Bucky would put something like this in his head and Steve sits on the bed, holding Bucky against him.  He keeps kissing whatever part of Bucky that he can reach at a given moment and whispers endearments and encouragement the whole time.  Once done, Cordelia and Abigail disappear, Steve holds Bucky against him while the man in his arms shakes through the memories.</p>
<p>“Do it, Steve.” Steve shakes his head as it rests against Bucky’s shoulder.  “You have to do it.”</p>
<p>The whimper that comes out of Steve is completely out of character, but the only way he can let the man in his arms know how much this hurts. “Sputnik.”  There’s a miniscule shiver that runs through Bucky’s body and he doesn’t move.  Steve whimpers again and turns Bucky to face him, he blinks once, then twice, then grins at Steve like the sun coming out.  “Buck?  Bucky?”</p>
<p>“Hey.” Reaching up, he pulls Steve down so their lips meet.  “It’s okay.  I’m okay.”  The two men know that Cordelia will be resting for awhile, if not until the evening and they have the castle to themselves.  “Steve, I think we need to stop just making out.  You need to stop holding yourself back.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you tired?” Steve’s eyes dilate even as he speaks considering what Bucky is offering.</p>
<p>“I can sleep after, but it’s time for us to really be together. I know why you’ve held off, but I need you to stop.”  Steve rolls onto his back, pulling Bucky with him.  The kisses start tender and reverent, but soon turn needy and feral.  Clothes come off and for the first time in decades they dedicate themselves to each other.  Bucky falls into a restful sleep after and Steve noses along his shoulder, just taking in everything they have together.  This man is his world and Steve regrets nothing about walking away from the life that Fury threw him into.</p>
<p>It’s nearly midnight when Steve stumbles out of their bedroom and downstairs for food. Bucky is snoring away with a smile on his face.  Steve hums as he fixes a quick sandwich and thinks about Bucky’s longer hair and how soft it is between his fingers, which causes him to think about not long ago when he had his fingers twisted in it causing Steve to shift on his feet and wonder how hard it would be to go back up and wake his husband again.</p>
<p>The front door opens and Steve is suddenly in fighting stance and also thankful that he put pants on. Easing out of the kitchen and into the hallway, he sees two shadows.  Looking up the stairs, he hopes that Bucky stays asleep.  Then the voices start.  “Stark, for god sakes, you can’t just burst in without warning.”</p>
<p>Natasha sounds fed up. “Romanov, it’s not like they’re going to be having sex in the foyer.”</p>
<p>There’s a snort. “I wish they were.  It would serve you right to have to see that.”</p>
<p>Steve comes around the corner, hands on his hips. He’s lit from the side showing off his bare chest with slowly fading marks from earlier activities.  “You two are so bad at being spies.”</p>
<p>Tony thumbs over at Natasha. “She’s the spy.  I’m not good in stealth mode.”  He comes over to Steve, grinning.  “Seems like we just missed the extracurricular activities, Romanov.”</p>
<p>“I was going to ask how the last few weeks have gone, but it looks like things went well.” She’s smirking and Steve blushes.</p>
<p>“Very well, now I’m going to finish my sandwich and go back upstairs to my husband.” They follow him into the kitchen and Steve can tell they have something to say because they keep poking each other and nodding towards him.  “Okay, spit it out.”</p>
<p>“Well…we were talking and since you call Barnes your husband…so we were just thinking…” Natasha Romanov never stumbles over her words.</p>
<p>“What Red is trying to say, and really badly, I might add, is that if you two call yourselves husbands, then don’t you think you should actually get married?” Steve freezes with his sandwich halfway to his mouth.  Tony’s drawing patterns on the table top, not meeting Steve’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Can we do that?” Natasha looks like she’s going to smack him.  “No, I mean, he’s been declared dead.  Can we actually do that?”</p>
<p>Tony grins. “I can make anything happen, Cap.  Give me a couple of weeks and we’ll have it good to go.”  He stands, looking at Steve.  “My room still where I left it?”  Steve nods.  “Good, I’m exhausted.”  Natasha winks at Steve and heads after Tony.</p>
<p>“I’m going to marry him.” Sandwich forgotten, Steve stares into space.  “I’m going to marry him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Epilogue</p>
<p>Bucky wakes on a sun-kissed morning in early October already smiling. The bedroom door creaks open and he spies Natasha, with a breakfast tray, through heavy eyelids.  “It’s time to wake up if I’m going to have time to do your hair.”  He sits up slowly trying to figure out how this beautiful life is his.  She puts the tray over his lap and crawls on the end of the bed, sitting cross-legged.  “How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>He takes careful inventory of his body, which has become a habit since coming home to Steve. He’s now very aware of how he feels and if anything feels off.  Finding everything just the way it should be, he smiles.  “I feel good.”  He can hear people in the garden and knows what they’re doing.  As much as he wants to get up and look, he doesn’t, but he doesn’t fool Natasha.</p>
<p>“Everything is being set up and it’s going to be lovely. Don’t worry so much.”  She reaches over, snagging a piece of fruit from his bowl.  Reaching out, he smacks her hand and that just makes her cackle.  Jumping off the bed, she heads for the door.  “Get showered when you finish.  I’m going to go check on everything and I’ll be back to do your hair.”</p>
<p>The door isn’t closed for long and it swings open again and Tony sweeps into the room. “AHHHH, there’s the blushing bride.”</p>
<p>Bucky frowns at him, but keeps eating. Tony plops onto the end of the bed.  “What do you want?”</p>
<p>Tony smirks. Leaning in, he starts whispering in a conspiratory way.  “I was sent in here by your nervous, anxious, overbearing fiancé to make sure that you were really okay.  I think he’s having a freak out.”</p>
<p>Bucky knows that Tony means well, but now he’s freaking out too because Steve is freaking out. Pushing the tray towards the billionaire, he gets out of bed and heads down the hall to the sitting room.  He’s damned well not going to have Steve in this condition for later.  Abigail and Cordelia are both talking to Steve and trying to get him to stay calm.  “I can’t stay calm!  Whose idiotic idea was it to have us sleep separately last night?”</p>
<p>Bucky barrels into the room and throws himself into Steve’s arms. Steve catches him and is only knocked back a little by his added bulk.  “You shouldn’t listen to your friends, my love.”  He gives Steve a searing kiss and then nuzzles into his neck.  “And to be specific, you shouldn’t listen to Tony.”</p>
<p>“HEY!” Tony stands in the doorway trying to look offended, but it gives way to a grin.</p>
<p>Steve’s hands rub up and down Bucky’s back, just enjoying the feel of the other man. “You’re right.  No more listening to Tony.  And no more sleeping in separate beds.”</p>
<p>Bucky nips at Steve’s neck causing a hearty intake of breath from the blond. “Okay, but we do need to get ready.”  Bucky nips again.  “And if you keep doing that, we’ll be late to our own wedding.”</p>
<p>Bucky gives a deep rumbling chuckle and Steve pulls him even closer, just holding on. “How long do we have?”</p>
<p>Steve looks up at the clock. “Two hours.”  There’s a whimper, but no one is sure who made the sound.</p>
<p>“So, not enough time.” As though reading his mind, Steve laughs.</p>
<p>“No, not enough time.” Bucky huffs and pulls away from the embrace and heads to the door.  “Buck?”  He turns around, looking back at Steve.  “I’ll see you out there.”  He gets a wink in return. </p>
<p>The day goes as perfectly as Steve wanted for Bucky. The vows are short and sweet, the food is incredibly decadent, and the people are kind with their words, but all the two men really want is for the day to end so they can disappear for a few days into the sanctity of their home.  So, when the day winds down and everyone bids their goodbyes, Steve takes Bucky as far as the door, sweeping him off his feet.</p>
<p>The laughter he gives, as Steve carries him across the threshold, is joyous in a way that Steve doesn’t ever remember hearing. Since bringing him back, there have been changes in his personality, things that make him quiet on some days and have an almost childlike glee about things that are new.  As kids they didn’t have the chance to be this free because just having the basics was hard.  They couldn’t during the war because it was a fight for their lives on each mission, but now, decades later, they have no restraints.  Whereas Bucky would have played it cool before, he lets all of his emotions show.  Steve asked him about it only once and got this in response, “We don’t have to hide anymore, we can just love each other.”</p>
<p>Carrying Bucky up the stairs, Steve can’t stop smiling. Everything between them was perfect before, but standing there today, marrying Bucky, not just in his heart, but in all ways, it was a dream that Steve had and now everything he ever wanted is fulfilled.  “We’re not leaving here for the next week.  Anyone shows up, we don’t answer the door.”</p>
<p>“You’re sounding a little possessive there, Steve.” But Steve can feel Bucky grinning while kissing up his neck.</p>
<p>“I’ve always been possessive of you. I thought you noticed.”  Bucky huffs a chuckle into Steve’s neck.  “I thought you liked it.”</p>
<p>“Oh my husband, I do like it, very, very much.” There’s a growl from the blond and Bucky bites his neck again.</p>
<p>“Say it again.” There’s something guttural about Steve’s voice.</p>
<p>Bucky likes that sound very much too. “My husband.”</p>
<p>As they enter the bedroom, Steve tosses Bucky onto the bed, bending down to start undressing him. “For the next week, you are not allowed to wear any clothes.”</p>
<p>Bucky barks with laughter. “Then you aren’t allowed either.  We can just chase each other around the castle naked and scandalize Abigail and Cordelia.”</p>
<p>Steve snorts. “Something tells me those two got up to their own version of this, way back when.”</p>
<p>Steve has Bucky down to his underwear and unbuttoned dress shirt. Standing back the super soldier stares down at him, chest bare under the shirt.  “My god how are you more beautiful today than you were yesterday.”</p>
<p>Bucky looks down at his hand where a specially designed band sits on the left ring finger. “I think it has something to do with the vows.”</p>
<p>Steve lays himself on top of his husband, kissing him tenderly. “I think it has something to do with the fact that you’re just that beautiful.” </p>
<p>There’s no more talking for a long while and the only noise from the castle is the sound of two women chasing each other around the downstairs sitting room until well into the morning.</p>
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